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"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Criticism is not a motivator.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 3)

 

The Forced Exit

Forced exit involves removing the child from the scene of the “crime”. It works best if the parent firmly but calmly takes the child to his room and announces that his behaviour would be best suited to being alone. Thus, he should remain there until he feels he can settle down and join the rest of the family (or group).

This not only gets the child out of the social setting, but encourages him to realize that this kind of behaviour is not being denied, only placed in a more acceptable setting, that is in privacy. This has extra benefit of   helping the child to work through his emotions by himself. It also teaches him that he is indeed capable of exercising control over himself.

It is important to stress to the child that he will be very welcome to return when he feels better and that the parents or group are anxious to see hem again. When he does rejoin the group give him a warm, friendly welcome, and forgo the urge to get in the last word by tacking on a preachy phrase or two about the tantrum. In short, forget it!

Some children have been known to become so proficient at this method that they automatically go to their rooms when they feel a tantrum coming on, throw a zinger there, and return promptly, pleasant and ready for play.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)