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The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 10)

 

 

Determine the Type of Tantrum

Tantrums come in 2 varieties: “development” and “manipulative. The terrible two’s is all about the “developmental” type. These are typically very intense as the child literally has lost control of himself. With increasing age, this type usually gives way to the “manipulative” tantrum that typically has less intensity and more of a conscious, planned quality. It is not always easy to distinguish between the two types. The reaction of the parent is sometimes a clue as to what type of tantrum the child is having because with a “developmental” tantrum we tend to feel a little sorry for the child. A “manipulative” tantrum tends to make us feel angry.

The “developmental” type requires understanding and involvement – the child cannot control himself. The “manipulative” type is done to control the adult and it’s sole purpose is for the child to get his way. T
his kid MUST not win this type of tantrum.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)