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Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

Criticism is not a motivator.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Learn more.

Tactics for Tantrums (Part 2)

 

 

Tactic # 3

The “I” Approach

This method is related to the previous “I Feel” technique. For the child who is more verbal and beginning to reason, a simple explanation of the parent’s feelings often help; for example, “It makes me unhappy (or uneasy, nervous, angry, upset) to see you act like this.”

This provides another context  for encouraging expression of feelings in terms of “I”. That is, there is more than a shade of difference between the comment “You are acting foolish and making me unhappy (which labels the child’s motive as bad and unhealthy) and a comment such as “When I see this I feel unhappy” ( which puts the label on the the parent where it belongs). The parent can also suggest that if the child ceases this behaviour, she will make the parent feel better and happier. This demonstrates to the child that there are other feelings to consider and that she is capable of improving another’s mood by a change in her own actions.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“I am no longer overwhelmed with a child who has unending discipline and behaviour problems.”

(P.S. – London)