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Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

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Tactics for Tantrums (Part 2)

 

 

Tactic # 3

The “I” Approach

This method is related to the previous “I Feel” technique. For the child who is more verbal and beginning to reason, a simple explanation of the parent’s feelings often help; for example, “It makes me unhappy (or uneasy, nervous, angry, upset) to see you act like this.”

This provides another context  for encouraging expression of feelings in terms of “I”. That is, there is more than a shade of difference between the comment “You are acting foolish and making me unhappy (which labels the child’s motive as bad and unhealthy) and a comment such as “When I see this I feel unhappy” ( which puts the label on the the parent where it belongs). The parent can also suggest that if the child ceases this behaviour, she will make the parent feel better and happier. This demonstrates to the child that there are other feelings to consider and that she is capable of improving another’s mood by a change in her own actions.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Implementing Rick’s techniques and adhering to them is exhausting, but it is a healthy exhaustion rather than the detrimental exhaustion I used to experience.”

(B.F. – Woodstock)