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Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Criticism is not a motivator.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

Learn more.

Tactics for Tantrums (Part 2)

 

 

Tactic # 3

The “I” Approach

This method is related to the previous “I Feel” technique. For the child who is more verbal and beginning to reason, a simple explanation of the parent’s feelings often help; for example, “It makes me unhappy (or uneasy, nervous, angry, upset) to see you act like this.”

This provides another context  for encouraging expression of feelings in terms of “I”. That is, there is more than a shade of difference between the comment “You are acting foolish and making me unhappy (which labels the child’s motive as bad and unhealthy) and a comment such as “When I see this I feel unhappy” ( which puts the label on the the parent where it belongs). The parent can also suggest that if the child ceases this behaviour, she will make the parent feel better and happier. This demonstrates to the child that there are other feelings to consider and that she is capable of improving another’s mood by a change in her own actions.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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