Sleep Problems (part 3 – the middle of the night screamer)
A child who regularly wakens in the night and won’t go back to sleep without a parent’s help is SO DRAINING! The following technique is worthy of your consideration if you have a middle of the night screamer and you are sure that there is nothing wrong with the child ie. ill.
The Controlled Crying Technique
Step # 1 – when the child wakens and begins to cry, let him cry for 10 minutes
– if he doesn’t fall back to sleep in 10 minutes, go to him and offer Grade B comfort
– pick up and cuddle low key, demonstrate concern (but not too much)
– use FEW words
Step # 2 – when the child stops crying – put him down and promptly leave the room
– use NO words
Step # 3 – when he starts crying again – let him cry 3 minutes longer than before
– offer Grade B comfort as before and when he stops crying leave his room in the same
manner as before – NO words
Step # 4 – repeat step 3 (let him cry 3 minutes longer = 16 minutes)
– goal is to gradually build up the time between your comforting
– the child eventually figures out “my parents will come sometime, but this isn’t worth the
effort
– I recommend that you do not exceed a 30 minute crying spell without offering comfort
(the comfort MUST be Grade B and use NO words)
Parents who have used this technique correctly have approximately a 90% cure rate within 7 nights. They report that children in the age range 1 year to 2 years have frequent relapses. Children over the age of 14 months display major showdowns on the first couple nights but the fuss is usually over by the 3rd night.
Giving the child the ability to self soothe and return to sleep unaided is a wonderful lifelong gift to the child and a welcome milestone for parents.
Rick Harper has been providing ideas for parents for over 40 years.