welcome image

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

Learn more.

Setting Limits with Teenagers

 

Setting Limits with Teenagers !

A teenager’s job description includes being:

  1. impulsive
  2. rebellious
  3. style-obsessed
  4. irritable
  5. incommunicative
  6. peer centered
  7. risk taker
  8. sleep deprived

While judgment skills are developing, he needs parents to keep him safe by setting clear limits backed up with fair, reasonable, firm and consistent consequences.

  • Balanced limits builds trust between parents and teens – you need to find a balance between your need for control and your teen’s needs for independence.
  • Every teen is different. Figure out where your teen is – some need a lot of structure, other’s don’t.
  • Let your teen help create the rules – teens are much more likely to obey rules and limits that they help to create.
  • Work together on consequences
    •  there must be a price for stepping out of line,
    •  working together in advance prevents many bad feelings
  • Prepare yourself for your teen’s mistakes
    • all teens make mistakes, that’s how they learn
    • mom/dad – keep your emotions in check
    • briefly and calmly explain your disappointment, anger, frustration, fears
    • enforce the agreed upon consequences

When things are going well (hopefully most of the time) be sure to tell her you noticed (everyone likes a pat own the back)

 

Back to Top

Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

Learn more

+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

Learn more

+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

Learn more

+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

Learn more

+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

Learn more

See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

Archive


Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)