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A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

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Setting Limits with Teenagers

 

Setting Limits with Teenagers !

A teenager’s job description includes being:

  1. impulsive
  2. rebellious
  3. style-obsessed
  4. irritable
  5. incommunicative
  6. peer centered
  7. risk taker
  8. sleep deprived

While judgment skills are developing, he needs parents to keep him safe by setting clear limits backed up with fair, reasonable, firm and consistent consequences.

  • Balanced limits builds trust between parents and teens – you need to find a balance between your need for control and your teen’s needs for independence.
  • Every teen is different. Figure out where your teen is – some need a lot of structure, other’s don’t.
  • Let your teen help create the rules – teens are much more likely to obey rules and limits that they help to create.
  • Work together on consequences
    •  there must be a price for stepping out of line,
    •  working together in advance prevents many bad feelings
  • Prepare yourself for your teen’s mistakes
    • all teens make mistakes, that’s how they learn
    • mom/dad – keep your emotions in check
    • briefly and calmly explain your disappointment, anger, frustration, fears
    • enforce the agreed upon consequences

When things are going well (hopefully most of the time) be sure to tell her you noticed (everyone likes a pat own the back)

 

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness'”

(N.S. – London)