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"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Hurt people hurt people.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Criticism is not a motivator.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

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Setting Limits with Teenagers

 

Setting Limits with Teenagers !

A teenager’s job description includes being:

  1. impulsive
  2. rebellious
  3. style-obsessed
  4. irritable
  5. incommunicative
  6. peer centered
  7. risk taker
  8. sleep deprived

While judgment skills are developing, he needs parents to keep him safe by setting clear limits backed up with fair, reasonable, firm and consistent consequences.

  • Balanced limits builds trust between parents and teens – you need to find a balance between your need for control and your teen’s needs for independence.
  • Every teen is different. Figure out where your teen is – some need a lot of structure, other’s don’t.
  • Let your teen help create the rules – teens are much more likely to obey rules and limits that they help to create.
  • Work together on consequences
    •  there must be a price for stepping out of line,
    •  working together in advance prevents many bad feelings
  • Prepare yourself for your teen’s mistakes
    • all teens make mistakes, that’s how they learn
    • mom/dad – keep your emotions in check
    • briefly and calmly explain your disappointment, anger, frustration, fears
    • enforce the agreed upon consequences

When things are going well (hopefully most of the time) be sure to tell her you noticed (everyone likes a pat own the back)

 

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“I am no longer overwhelmed with a child who has unending discipline and behaviour problems.”

(P.S. – London)