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"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Parenting style matters - a lot!

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

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Post Adoption Resources

 

Children born into a biological family seldom reflect on what it means to be a family. The dynamics evolve into a familiar and comfortable routine that we just take for granted. Children who enter the family through adoption have probably been in several foster homes and do not have a sense of what “family” means.  This is all very new territory for a child who has been a transient part of numerous families before becoming a part of yours. Every biological family has their own unique routines, patterns  and traditions. A new member entering  your  family (biological, foster, adopted) will alter the pattern somewhat, resulting in a learning curve for the new member and the existing ones.

Adoption can result in a steep learning curve for everyone and some advice that adoptive parents that have consulted with me recommend these tips to those just starting out in adoption.

  • take advantage of parental leave from work – this applies to both mom and dad
  • minimize visitors to your home for several weeks or months
  • do not leave your adopted children in someone else’s care
  • cut back on extracurricular activities for a period of time
  • say “no’ to volunteer work that does not involve the whole family
  • verbalize about how your family does things – e.g.. “In our family we take the dog for a walk after supper”
  • do things together as a family: meals, games, jobs around the house
  • be mindful of  the needs of your other children

Bringing another child into your home is a wonderful and selfless gift but there will be some bumps along the road. Do not hesitate to ask for help as you search for answers. Many families have travelled this road before and they can be a wealth of information and support.

Behaviour Management Systems has assisted numerous families with issues related to adoption. One of those issues will be around discipline and formulating a plan early can be the difference maker. Parenting adoptive children is not the same as parenting your biological children and failure to recognize this and adapt your parenting style can lead to unbelievable tension within a home and eventual breakdown of the family or the adoption..

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you [...]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First [...]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain [...]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)