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Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

Learn more.

Dry Bed Training (part 3)

Dry Bed Training (Part 3)
Treatment Options # 1-4
1.Habit Changing
– reduce fluid intake after supper may be a reasonable start
– reduce fluids containing caffeine
– ensure the child “completely” voids before bed
2. Rewards & Punishments
– using rewards and punishments for a behaviour while
sleeping us usually a no win situation
– rewards MAY have a place but there will be no greater reward
for the child than to wake up dry in the morning
– there is absolutely no place for punishing a child for doing
something in his sleep

3. Night Lifting (getting the child up to go to the bathroom)
– frequently done by parents before they go to bed
– there is no reliable evidence to support night lifting (that I can
find) and considerable research condemning it
– passes responsibility onto others- it should belong to
the child
– creates tension between child and parent – the child
usually does not want to get up – not a good to
engage in a battle
– reinforces wetting wile asleep because the child may
appear to be fully awake but more likely to still
be asleep

4. Bladder Training (N.B. – the child should be examined by a doctor to ensure there are no structural problems in the urinary organs or urinary tract infection before attempting bladder training)
There are 2 physical problems that may respond to bladder training:
a) weak sphincter muscle at base of bladder
b) small “functional” bladder capacity
The sphincter muscle at the base of the bladder is sensitive to pressure. Initially the slightest pressure of urine triggers the reflex action in a baby and he/she expels urine immediately. However, as the child matures and develops, the neurological and urinary systems are conditioned to retain urine for longer periods.
Bladder training means to systematically exercise the sphincter muscle in hopes of developing it faster. We want it to move past the reflex stage so it will be able to retain using longer and come under conscience control.
The second part of bladder training involves conditioning it to hold more – in essence increasing the bladder capacity which reduces the frequency of urination. In reality we do not change the actual size of the bladder but we can train it to hold more releasing it. Doctors tell us that a developing child will naturally pass more using with each voiding as he gets older. The actual size of bladders from one child to another varies little however the FUNCTIONAL CAPACITY can vary enormously.
Bed wetters typically urinate small amounts with each voiding. Their bladders are roughly the same size as non bed wetters but they have not been conditioned to hold more – the enuretic child passes about 50% of the volume of urine with each voiding as the non bed wetters.
The experts suggest a procedure that is designed to address both problems at once. The process is simple but, but at first may sound counterproductive – DRINK WATER , LOTS OF IT. When the child feels the need to void, encourage him to hold on as long as possible. Two good things happen if the child cooperates and does this over a period of time;
1) the sphincter becomes conditioned to withstand increased
pressure before responding to ref;ex and opening
prematurely
2) the amount of urine the bladder will accommodate between
voidings will increase
When these two things happen sufficiently, the child will be dry at night – guaranteed!

To be continued

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)