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"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

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Depression & Discipline

CONFLICT AND DISCIPLINE
 
– conflict in a home with a teenager is inevitable
– challenge for parents is to balance firmness with support and encouragement
-parenting a depressed teen is particularly challenging
                  – “walking on eggshells”
                  – scared of pushing too far
 
TIPS
1. “Pause” button
                                    – don’t get sucked into full-scale war
                                    – exit & wait
                                    – brain dead phrases
                                    – reflectors
2. active listening
3. communicate respectfully & calmly
4. negotiate
5. give choices
6. recharge your own batteries
                                    – proper eating, sleeping
                                    – pursue a hobby
                                    – get help – clergy, support group
 
ALL FAMILIES HAVE PROBLEMS
                  – the difference between healthy & unhealthy families is how they deal with them.
                  – healthy families:                -acknowledge the problem
                                                                        -take positive steps to resolve them

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)