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If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

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FASD – Late Childhood (aged 8 – 12)

The main developmental task for children of this age is to develop a sense of industry. Family stresses are likely to increase as FASD children can be exhausting. Caregivers will benefit from counselling and respite care may become necessary. Peer and sibling relationships can become more difficult because the child may have legitimate  difficulty with following the rules, turn taking, cheating, stealing, breaking things and being unpredictable. Children with FASD do not understand the feelings of others and he/she may find structured groups to be beneficial (eg. Cubs, Brownies, karate, etc.)

Sexuality – Puberty is right around the corner which can bring a new set of concerns to parents. Because children with FASD have trouble understanding boundaries the risk of being sexually abused or aggressive increases. They have trouble cueing into social norms and are frequently very impulsive. Open discussion about sexuality at this stage makes discussing these issues in the teen years easier.

School – School will probably continue to be a area of concern and I recommend that the parents and teacher have a communication system in place to check on work frequently. Worksheets with a small amount on each page and breaking the assignments into small sections will help the child remain focused. Computers, calculators, tape recorders etc. can increase his/her attention span and oral exams may be beneficial.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our psychiatrist recommended Rick to help us sort out behaviour management issues for our autistic son. He was an invaluable help.”

(C.C. – Sarnia)