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Parenting style matters - a lot!

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

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FASD – Late Childhood (aged 8 – 12)

The main developmental task for children of this age is to develop a sense of industry. Family stresses are likely to increase as FASD children can be exhausting. Caregivers will benefit from counselling and respite care may become necessary. Peer and sibling relationships can become more difficult because the child may have legitimate  difficulty with following the rules, turn taking, cheating, stealing, breaking things and being unpredictable. Children with FASD do not understand the feelings of others and he/she may find structured groups to be beneficial (eg. Cubs, Brownies, karate, etc.)

Sexuality – Puberty is right around the corner which can bring a new set of concerns to parents. Because children with FASD have trouble understanding boundaries the risk of being sexually abused or aggressive increases. They have trouble cueing into social norms and are frequently very impulsive. Open discussion about sexuality at this stage makes discussing these issues in the teen years easier.

School – School will probably continue to be a area of concern and I recommend that the parents and teacher have a communication system in place to check on work frequently. Worksheets with a small amount on each page and breaking the assignments into small sections will help the child remain focused. Computers, calculators, tape recorders etc. can increase his/her attention span and oral exams may be beneficial.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our psychiatrist recommended Rick to help us sort out behaviour management issues for our autistic son. He was an invaluable help.”

(C.C. – Sarnia)