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Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

Hurt people hurt people.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

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Advice for Parents re: getting to dry

Advice for parents re: bladder training

It makes some sense to reduce the intake of water after supper. Even adults who have consumed larger amounts to drink shortly before bedtime may find themselves being wakened more in the middle of the night by the urge to go to the bathroom. For a bed wetting child, drinking a lot before bed may be asking for trouble. So after the child eats supper – liquids could be discouraged – but not prohibited. I would ask the child to not drink anything after supper unless he/she was pretty thirsty and I would leave the judgement of “pretty thirst” entirely in his/her hands. If I saw him/her drinking after supper, I would assume that he/she needs it and not say anything about it. Now it may very well be that he/she could survive without it, but it’s not worth having an argument over and we are placing the responsibility for his drinking intake in his/her responsibility where it should be. Besides, unnecessary tension is much worse for a child who wets than unnecessary liquids.
The one exception I would suggest at this point is the bed wetting child who takes a bottle to bed. I suggest you eliminate that as soon as possible.
In a nut shell the experts recommend “A lot more water during the day, less to drink after supper and a visit to the toilet before going to bed.”

We are trying to accomplish 2 things:
1) increase functional bladder capacity
2) develop greater control of the bladder sphincter

The experts have come up with a plan that can successfully accomplish increased bladder sensitivity.
When you have the urge to go to the bathroom – it is the bladder sphincter that transmit the message to the brain. I’m sure you have all had the experience of needing to go to the bathroom but were unable to do so at that moment – maybe driving the car. So what do you do? – by necessity, you wait – and what usually happens ? – the urge dissipates and you continue driving – sometimes for a long time before the urge returns.
The amount of urine in your bladder has not decreased – you have simply taken a step to condition the sphincter to withstand greater pressure.
You can help an enuretic child achieve greater bladder control and increase his functional bladder capacity by setting up a series of exercises that duplicate your experience in the car.
Simply, at the first need to urinate – wait.
Have the child go for a walk, lie down, play on the computer, read him a story, anything that delays voiding. You might even turn it into a game (try waiting 5 minutes, 7 minutes, 10 minutes, etc.)
When it is not possible to wait any longer have him go to the bathroom, but have him start and stop the urine flow several times during the voiding. It is the sphincter that will control this flow and by starting and stopping, you will be encouraging sphincter control.
If you and the child are so inclined, you can increase the effectiveness by keeping records of the number of washroom visits in a day and the volume of urine produced at each voiding. It is easy and encouraging to see small improvements happening even before we begin to see dry beds. ( anyone interested in keeping records may e-mail me and I can send you blank forms that make this task even easier)

The goal is to have fewer visits to the washroom each day AND increase the average volume per voiding.

This procedure has speeded up the arrival of dry beds for many children.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“I am no longer overwhelmed with a child who has unending discipline and behaviour problems.”

(P.S. – London)