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It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless.  ( Tori Amos)

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Learn more.

Toilet Training (part 2)

 

 

As I stated in my previous blog many toilet training difficulties are really non problems. They stem from either:

  • unrealistic expectations
  • misleading advice

A child’s neurological and physiological “systems” must be sufficiently developed in order to gain control of his bladder and bowels and there is a wide variation of ages when these 2 systems converge to make toilet training successful.

At around 18 months of age the child’s reflex control begins to weaken and voluntary control begins to take over. At about 24 months, the sensation of impending urine release becomes apparent to the child and he / she may be able to give you about a 10 second warning. Over the next months the warning time increases and by about 30 months approximately 2/3 of children will be dry most of the time. Generally speaking girls train earlier and more easily than boys because of:

  • advanced rate of development
  • different anatomy
  • generally more compliant

Soon after day time control is achieved, night time control will hopefully happen (an upcoming blog will feature bed-wetting concerns)

The important point to remember is that there is a great variation in age when children are ready to begin toilet training.

YOU CAN’T GO FAR WRONG:

  1. IF YOU DON’T START TOO EARLY
  2. IF YOU DON’T FORCE THE CHILD
  3. IF YOU DON’TPANIC

My next posting will outline a training regime that is conducive to a non stressful, successful outcome.

What parents need most is ideas because with ideas we get options.

Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 40 years.

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This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)