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Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

Criticism is not a motivator.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

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Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 3)

 

The Forced Exit

Forced exit involves removing the child from the scene of the “crime”. It works best if the parent firmly but calmly takes the child to his room and announces that his behaviour would be best suited to being alone. Thus, he should remain there until he feels he can settle down and join the rest of the family (or group).

This not only gets the child out of the social setting, but encourages him to realize that this kind of behaviour is not being denied, only placed in a more acceptable setting, that is in privacy. This has extra benefit of   helping the child to work through his emotions by himself. It also teaches him that he is indeed capable of exercising control over himself.

It is important to stress to the child that he will be very welcome to return when he feels better and that the parents or group are anxious to see hem again. When he does rejoin the group give him a warm, friendly welcome, and forgo the urge to get in the last word by tacking on a preachy phrase or two about the tantrum. In short, forget it!

Some children have been known to become so proficient at this method that they automatically go to their rooms when they feel a tantrum coming on, throw a zinger there, and return promptly, pleasant and ready for play.

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2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Implementing Rick’s techniques and adhering to them is exhausting, but it is a healthy exhaustion rather than the detrimental exhaustion I used to experience.”

(B.F. – Woodstock)