Tactics for Temper Tantrums (part 3)

The Forced Exit

Forced exit involves removing the child from the scene of the “crime”. It works best if the parent firmly but calmly takes the child to his room and announces that his behaviour would be best suited to being alone. Thus, he should remain there until he feels he can settle down and join the rest of the family (or group).

This not only gets the child out of the social setting, but encourages him to realize that this kind of behaviour is not being denied, only placed in a more acceptable setting, that is in privacy. This has extra benefit of helping the child to work through his emotions by himself. It also teaches him that he is indeed capable of exercising control over himself.

It is important to stress to the child that he will be very welcome to return when he feels better and that the parents or group are anxious to see hem again. When he does rejoin the group give him a warm, friendly welcome, and forgo the urge to get in the last word by tacking on a preachy phrase or two about the tantrum. In short, forget it!

Some children have been known to become so proficient at this method that they automatically go to their rooms when they feel a tantrum coming on, throw a zinger there, and return promptly, pleasant and ready for play.