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Ideas and suggestions on "how to".

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man." (J.R. Moehringer)

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Hurt people hurt people.

Criticism is not a motivator.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless. ( Tori Amos)

Relationships matter: change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children" (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries. (Ozzy Osbourne)

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

If it was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

Learn more.

Services

Private Consultation
Behavioural Management Systems is a totally private and independent training and consulting business.

We are dedicated to assisting parents develop, implement and monitor programs to decrease the rate, duration and intensity of inappropriate behaviours of their children.

Experts from various disciplines (medical, psychiatric, psychological, social work, speech & language, education, etc) have all contributed to a vast pool of knowledge that can be confusing and is often contradictory.

Expert A says “Do this don’t do that!”
Expert B says “Do that don’t do this!”

Behavioural Management Systems helps parents sort through these ideas and assists them in a process that leads to the development of a totally individualized behaviour plan for their own child in their own home.

What Kind of Problems?

Aggression	Temper Tantrums	School Problems
Non-Compliance	Disrespect	Truancy
Self Injurious Behaviours	Swearing	Homework
Running Away	Destructive	Sibling Rivalry
Substance Abuse	Breaking Curfew	ADHD, ODD, etc
Whining	Messy Rooms	Peer Problems

Rick meets with parents at a time and place that is convenient for them. Most opt to meet in their home and sessions are scheduled in the morning, afternoon or evening to accommodate the parents’ schedules.

Teleconferencing

Take advantage of information technology. It is now possible to receive individual family consultations using the phone, fax, mail and e-mail. Save time, travel and money and eliminate the waiting list. This method of receiving help is remarkably fast, efficient and effective and is growing rapidly in popularity.
Contact us by phone or e-mail for details.

Workshops

Our workshops have been enthusiastically received by parents, teachers, Children’s Aid Societies, daycare staff, church groups, community colleges, professional associations, group home staff etc.

Learn more about our courses.

Conference Speaker

Rick is frequently asked to give keynote or plenary addresses to diverse groups. His sense of humour and infectious enthusiasm captures the audience’s attention.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

Learn more

+ Lick Your Kids

“Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

Learn more

+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

Learn more

+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

Learn more

+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

Learn more

See more of our workshops

Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)

Parenting is the most important job you will ever do.

It can also be the most difficult!

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man." (J.R. Moehringer)

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Hurt people hurt people.

Criticism is not a motivator.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Adolescence can be the cruelest place on earth. It can really be heartless. ( Tori Amos)

Relationships matter: change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

Wouldn't it be nice if children would simply listen and learn.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children" (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

"Moody" and "unpredictable" are adjectives parents will often use when referring to their teenagers.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries. (Ozzy Osbourne)

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

If it was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

Services

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Parents' Comments