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Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Children mimic well. They catch what they see better than they follow what they hear.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

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Separating from Parents

 

 

Being a parent of a teen can cure a person of narcissism. When your child was born, you were the center of  his/her universe. You were special . Now that you have an adolescent, you have become less central. No matter what you do, your teen continues to invest in the outside world more than at home.

This is how it should be. Teens slowly move away from their parents physically and  emotionally. Over time, they change from being “family-centric” to being “friends-centric”.  Their interests and activities revolve more and more around their friends. In addition, when children enter adolescence, they begin questioning their parents’ values, ideas and beliefs and begin formulating their own. This too is as it should be. The dependent nature of the parent-child relationship is designed to end at some point.

In order to become healthy, functioning adults, children must sever the ties to their parents, often transforming the relationship into a friendship. Children can’t enter the world if they have not separated from parents!

So the issue is not whether your teen should separate from you, but how, for there is a right way to separate and a wrong away way.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)