Post Adoption Resources
Children born into a biological family seldom reflect on what it means to be a family. The dynamics evolve into a familiar and comfortable routine that we just take for granted. Children who enter the family through adoption have probably been in several foster homes and do not have a sense of what “family” means. This is all very new territory for a child who has been a transient part of numerous families before becoming a part of yours. Every biological family has their own unique routines, patterns and traditions. A new member entering your family (biological, foster, adopted) will alter the pattern somewhat, resulting in a learning curve for the new member and the existing ones.
Adoption can result in a steep learning curve for everyone and some advice that adoptive parents that have consulted with me recommend these tips to those just starting out in adoption.
- take advantage of parental leave from work – this applies to both mom and dad
- minimize visitors to your home for several weeks or months
- do not leave your adopted children in someone else’s care
- cut back on extracurricular activities for a period of time
- say “no’ to volunteer work that does not involve the whole family
- verbalize about how your family does things – e.g.. “In our family we take the dog for a walk after supper”
- do things together as a family: meals, games, jobs around the house
- be mindful of the needs of your other children
Bringing another child into your home is a wonderful and selfless gift but there will be some bumps along the road. Do not hesitate to ask for help as you search for answers. Many families have travelled this road before and they can be a wealth of information and support.
Behaviour Management Systems has assisted numerous families with issues related to adoption. One of those issues will be around discipline and formulating a plan early can be the difference maker. Parenting adoptive children is not the same as parenting your biological children and failure to recognize this and adapt your parenting style can lead to unbelievable tension within a home and eventual breakdown of the family or the adoption..