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We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

Hurt people hurt people.

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

Criticism is not a motivator.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

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Child/Parent Attachment

 

Child development is fundamentally social – it proceeds through relationships” (Stanley Greenspan Ph.D.)

Children MUST have a secure relationship with adult caregivers or attachment will not occur and healthy emotional development will; be arrested.” (Richard Delaney Ph. D)

In the early weeks, months and years of life , the following are positive signs that your young child is attempting to “attach” with you:

– eye contact

– smile

– tracking you with his/her eyes

– reaching towards you

– seeking to be picked up

– protesting separation from you

– signalling or calling for you

– clinging

If you consistently meet your child’s needs in the proper way (closeness, eye contact, touch, smiles, tenderness, etc.) he/she subconsciously concludes;

– “The world meets my needs.”

– “I can trust the adults in my life.”

– “I can trust the world.”

These conclusions lead to feeling of :

– “I am safe”

– “I can trust adults”

– I am treated well”

– “My needs are met”

– “I am valued”

– “I am not alone”

– “My future looks bright”

If this relationship between the child and parent remains unbroken, secure and healthy, the stage is set for a healthy attachment to develop.

 

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our daughter was the joy of our life until she turned 13, then all hell broke loose. Rick helped us understand what was happening to her and we made some adjustments that helped us get through it. She’s now in University and doing well.”

(D.A. – St. Thomas)