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Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

There has been an explosion in the prescribing of medication for very young children, particularly preschool and kindergarten boys (Juli Zito , Univ. of Maryland)

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Learn more.

Toilet Training (part 2)

 

 

As I stated in my previous blog many toilet training difficulties are really non problems. They stem from either:

  • unrealistic expectations
  • misleading advice

A child’s neurological and physiological “systems” must be sufficiently developed in order to gain control of his bladder and bowels and there is a wide variation of ages when these 2 systems converge to make toilet training successful.

At around 18 months of age the child’s reflex control begins to weaken and voluntary control begins to take over. At about 24 months, the sensation of impending urine release becomes apparent to the child and he / she may be able to give you about a 10 second warning. Over the next months the warning time increases and by about 30 months approximately 2/3 of children will be dry most of the time. Generally speaking girls train earlier and more easily than boys because of:

  • advanced rate of development
  • different anatomy
  • generally more compliant

Soon after day time control is achieved, night time control will hopefully happen (an upcoming blog will feature bed-wetting concerns)

The important point to remember is that there is a great variation in age when children are ready to begin toilet training.

YOU CAN’T GO FAR WRONG:

  1. IF YOU DON’T START TOO EARLY
  2. IF YOU DON’T FORCE THE CHILD
  3. IF YOU DON’TPANIC

My next posting will outline a training regime that is conducive to a non stressful, successful outcome.

What parents need most is ideas because with ideas we get options.

Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 40 years.

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This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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A program for children with reading problems

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This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness'”

(N.S. – London)