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It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

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The Changing Brain

 

Our brains constantly change over our lifetime as we develop and age. As a consequence, the way various brain functions work also changes, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse.

The brain of a newborn is far from developed; it needs time to fully grow and establish connections on both large and small scales. Our brain’s functions improve drastically throughout childhood and adolescence, following a generally predictably progression. It is only in our mid 20′s that we finally possess a fully-equipped brain, complete with a well-developed prefrontal cortex to help each of us succeed in leading an independent life as an adult.

Even after the brain is fully formed in young adulthood, researchers have found the functions that benefit from accumulated experience, such as vocabulary-related language skills, pattern recognition and emotional self-regulation, tend to improve decade after decade.

On the other hand, starting in our late 20′s and early 30′s, the research shows that speed of processing and working memory tend (on average) to slow down, reducing our capacity to process and deal with complex new information. This is a gradual process that often first  becomes noticeable in our early 40′s. Of course, individuals vary significantly in how and when they experience this decline: some people experience a significant decline while others do not.

In short, “old dogs” can certainly learn – faster than “young dogs” in domains that benefit from accumulated experience, and slower in domains that change too rapidly for accumulated experience to accrue a significant benefit.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Rick’s approach is so logical. He helped us clearly define the problem, analyze what has happened and select the best strategy. We now feel empowered to do something positive for our kid”

(A.N. – Tillsonburg)