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"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

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Temper Tantrums in a Restaurant

 

A child having a temper tantrum in a restaurant is an unpleasant experience not only for the parents but also the other customers. It is the parent’s responsibility to manage in such a way as to minimize the discomfort of the other guests but also teach you child more acceptable ways to handle frustrations.

1.Some children are simply not mature enough to handle some restaurants and it is an unrealistic  expectation  to even try.

2. In advance, tell your child the plan and explain your reasonable expectations for the restaurant meal.

3. Bring extra nibbles and distractions to keep your child busy and amused while he waits to be served.

4. If you have a child with a history of tantrums in restaurants and there is  more than the one child and two parents, arrange to take 2 cars. If the child is not cooperating and a tantrum follows, one parent simply takes  the child home while the other parent and children continue with their evening out. When child number two gets to stay at the restaurant with the other parent, the impact on the tantruming child is incredible effective.

Tips

1. At the very first sign of trouble, remove your child from the table and take him to a private area. Get down to his level and repeat your expectations, as well as what will happen if they are not met. Be calm and clear and use a few words as possible. “In this restaurant you may not cry or sceam loudly. It must stop right now. This is your only warning. If you continue you will be taken home.”

2. If it happens again, take him home.

3. Now hear comes the real teaching part. Next day  go out for breakfast or supper again but leave the tantrummer home with a sitter while the rest of the family goes out to the restaurant. Tell the child: “We are going out to the restaurant again but we are not taking you with us this time. Last night you were not able to follow the rules and we had to take you home. We’ll take you maybe  the next time but you must follow the rules or you will be brought back”.

4. Follow through – no caving in!

This strategy works mom and dad. It is a little inconvenient at first but positive results usually happen the first time.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)