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Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

Parenting style matters - a lot!

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Dealing with Temper Tantrums

No two children are the same. There are no universal disciplinary techniques that apply to all children. There are however, some general principles to keep in mind:

  1. tantrums are normal in young children
  2. tantrums are vehicles to teach valuable life long lessons
  3. children manifest tantrums most often:

a) when their wishes are not met

b) when they are tired or hungry

4. your appropriate response is critical and will determine if your child learns those valuable

lessons

5. your response should be determined by an analysis of the circumstances – what is your child

trying to  achieve by the tantrums  eg. attention seeking, expressing frustration or anger,

trying to avoid a responsibility, social control, reversing the “no” word, sick, fear, etc., etc.)

6. if the child is successful in achieving his/her “goal”, the tantrum was reinforced and the

probability of another tantrum has been increased

7. if the child is unsuccessful in achieving his / her “goal” the tantrum was NOT reinforced and

the probability of another tantrum has been reduced.

8. tantrum behaviour can often be traced directly to an adult’s pattern of giving in to the child’s

wishes as soon as the tantrum behaviour becomes “intolerable”.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Rick’s approach is so logical. He helped us clearly define the problem, analyze what has happened and select the best strategy. We now feel empowered to do something positive for our kid”

(A.N. – Tillsonburg)