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The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Early intervention is always better than crisis management - but it is never too late to do the right thing.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

Setting limits teaches your children valuable skills they will use the rest of their lives. One day, they will report to a job where their ability to follow rules will dictate their success.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

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Dealing with Temper Tantrums

No two children are the same. There are no universal disciplinary techniques that apply to all children. There are however, some general principles to keep in mind:

  1. tantrums are normal in young children
  2. tantrums are vehicles to teach valuable life long lessons
  3. children manifest tantrums most often:

a) when their wishes are not met

b) when they are tired or hungry

4. your appropriate response is critical and will determine if your child learns those valuable

lessons

5. your response should be determined by an analysis of the circumstances – what is your child

trying to  achieve by the tantrums  eg. attention seeking, expressing frustration or anger,

trying to avoid a responsibility, social control, reversing the “no” word, sick, fear, etc., etc.)

6. if the child is successful in achieving his/her “goal”, the tantrum was reinforced and the

probability of another tantrum has been increased

7. if the child is unsuccessful in achieving his / her “goal” the tantrum was NOT reinforced and

the probability of another tantrum has been reduced.

8. tantrum behaviour can often be traced directly to an adult’s pattern of giving in to the child’s

wishes as soon as the tantrum behaviour becomes “intolerable”.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our psychiatrist recommended Rick to help us sort out behaviour management issues for our autistic son. He was an invaluable help.”

(C.C. – Sarnia)