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The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. (Peggy O'Mara)

Parenting style matters - a lot!

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Criticism is not a motivator.

"Unexpressed feeling never die. They are buried alive and come back later in ugly ways." (Stephen Covey)

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Learn more.

Sleep Problems (part 1)

“Children are a comfort in our old age, it is true; and often children help us reach it faster too”.

“My children are the perfect age . . . too old to cry at night and too young to ask for the car.”

Sleep problems are not the same in children as they are in adults. For example, infants and toddlers who are not sleeping well do not complain – their parents do. Young children are usually more unhappy about having to go to bed than about an inability to fall asleep; in fact they are more likely to fight sleep.

One of the least obvious sleep problems is that of insufficient sleep. There is no absolute way of measuring whether the amount of sleep your child gets per day is appropriate. The following chart shows the average amount of sleep children should get at various ages during the night and nap time but each child is different:

  • 1 week old        = 16.5  hours
  • 1 month            = 15.5
  • 6 months          = 14.5
  • 1 year                 = 13.75
  • 2 years              = 13
  • 3 years              = 12 (day time naps usually disappear)
  • 4 years              = 11.5
  • 5 years              = 11
  • 6 years              = 10.75
  • 7 years              = 10.5
  • 8 years              = 10.25
  • 9 years              = 10
  • 10 years            = 9.75
  • 11 years             = 9.5
  • 12 years             = 9.25
  • 13 years             = 9.25
  • 14 years             = 9
  • 15 years             = 8.75
  • 16 years             = 8.5
  • 17 years             = 8.25
  • 18 years             = 8.25

The symptoms of insufficient sleep in young children can be very subtle. If your 2 year old sleeps only 8 hours at night but seems to be functioning well during the day, it is tempting to assume he doesn’t need more sleep, but 8 hours is rarely enough sleep for a 2 year old. With appropriate intervention by his/her parents, he can learn to increase his amount of sleep time. You may begin to notice an improvement in his general behaviour, your child will probably be happier , less irritable, less inclined to have tantrums and be more able to concentrate at play.

How well your child sleeps not only affects his behaviour during the day but also your feelings about him. If he doesn’t sleep well, he may be making your life miserable and your frustration and fatigue may carry over into your relationships with your spouse, family and friends.

My next postings will outline  strategies that have proven to be very successful for young children who waken during the night and are unable to self soothe and return to sleep unaided.

Rick Harper has been providing ideas to parents for over 40 years.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“He is a wealth of knowledge coupled with first hand experience.”

(E.K. – London)