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If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

It's more effective to reward your child for being "good" (appropriate) than to punish him for being "bad" (inappropriate).

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

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Separating from Parents

 

 

Being a parent of a teen can cure a person of narcissism. When your child was born, you were the center of  his/her universe. You were special . Now that you have an adolescent, you have become less central. No matter what you do, your teen continues to invest in the outside world more than at home.

This is how it should be. Teens slowly move away from their parents physically and  emotionally. Over time, they change from being “family-centric” to being “friends-centric”.  Their interests and activities revolve more and more around their friends. In addition, when children enter adolescence, they begin questioning their parents’ values, ideas and beliefs and begin formulating their own. This too is as it should be. The dependent nature of the parent-child relationship is designed to end at some point.

In order to become healthy, functioning adults, children must sever the ties to their parents, often transforming the relationship into a friendship. Children can’t enter the world if they have not separated from parents!

So the issue is not whether your teen should separate from you, but how, for there is a right way to separate and a wrong away way.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We were so naive. We thought our son’s poor behaviour was just a phase he was passing through. Thankfully you led us ‘out of the wilderness'”

(N.S. – London)