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Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

If it  was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called "labour".

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

"To be a man, a boy must see a man."  (J.R. Moehringer)

If you are headed in the wrong direction as a parent - you are allowed to make a U-turn.

A tantruming toddler is a little ball of writhing muscle and incredible strength. It's like trying to carry a greased pig past a slop bucket.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

Learn more.

Asperger’s Syndrome (part 1)

 

 


I recently had an opportunity to meet with a school staff regarding a young boy who is having a tough time. He is doing OK academically but his “odd” social skills result in him being bullied and manipulated by his classmates. He becomes angry and lashes out and problems snowball from there.

I am not a doctor but as the teachers described this boy’s behaviour, I became suspicious that he may have disorder called Asperger’s Syndrome. My recommedation was that it would be advisable to suggest to the boy’s parents to have a qualified medical doctor assess the boy. If in fact he does have Aspergers then the school and the parents need to address this boys problems differently than they have been doing.

Below is an incomplete list of characteristics commonly seen in individuals with Aspergers:

  • average to above average intelligence
  • perceived by others as being “odd”, “eccentric”
  • socially naive
  • often taken advantage of, rejected, bullied
  • unaware of other’s thoughts, feelings or perceptions resulting in appearing rude or      inconsiderate
  • difficulty in initiating and maintaining close relationships & friends despite desiring to do so
  • problems reading non verbal or social cues and understanding social rules
  • inappropriate or insensitive social behaviours
  • will play with others but “on his/her terms” or not at all
  • literal interpretation of communication from others – eg. “I have a splitting headache”
  • speech is used primarily for delivering information or requesting something (not as a way of interacting socially)
  • inability to small talk – one sided conversations
  • long winded about his favourite topic
  • may sound like a little professor
  • uses repetitive phrases
  • detail oriented – may miss the big picture
  • superior ability to focus on favoured areas of interest
  • exaggerated emotional response to situations (eg. temper tantrums, crying)
  • hyper sensitive to sensory input (sound, light, smell, touch, taste)
  • difficulty “connecting the dots” of life
  • rigid, inflexible and rule bound behaviours
  • often anxious and/or depressed
  • poor organizational skills
  • clumsy or awkward motor skills
  • dyslexia, writing problems

My next post will present info regarding diagnosis, treatment and what parents can do.

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Phone: (519) 485-4678
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Email: info@rickharper.ca

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