welcome image

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

"The thing that impresses me most about North America is the way parents obey their children"    (King Edward VII , 1841-1910)

The best inheritance  parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

You cannot reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Children today are under enormous pressures rarely experienced by their parents or grandparents. Many of today's children are being enticed to grow up too quickly and are encountering challenges for which they are totally unprepared.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Learn more.

Advice for Parents re: getting to dry

Advice for parents re: bladder training

It makes some sense to reduce the intake of water after supper. Even adults who have consumed larger amounts to drink shortly before bedtime may find themselves being wakened more in the middle of the night by the urge to go to the bathroom. For a bed wetting child, drinking a lot before bed may be asking for trouble. So after the child eats supper – liquids could be discouraged – but not prohibited. I would ask the child to not drink anything after supper unless he/she was pretty thirsty and I would leave the judgement of “pretty thirst” entirely in his/her hands. If I saw him/her drinking after supper, I would assume that he/she needs it and not say anything about it. Now it may very well be that he/she could survive without it, but it’s not worth having an argument over and we are placing the responsibility for his drinking intake in his/her responsibility where it should be. Besides, unnecessary tension is much worse for a child who wets than unnecessary liquids.
The one exception I would suggest at this point is the bed wetting child who takes a bottle to bed. I suggest you eliminate that as soon as possible.
In a nut shell the experts recommend “A lot more water during the day, less to drink after supper and a visit to the toilet before going to bed.”

We are trying to accomplish 2 things:
1) increase functional bladder capacity
2) develop greater control of the bladder sphincter

The experts have come up with a plan that can successfully accomplish increased bladder sensitivity.
When you have the urge to go to the bathroom – it is the bladder sphincter that transmit the message to the brain. I’m sure you have all had the experience of needing to go to the bathroom but were unable to do so at that moment – maybe driving the car. So what do you do? – by necessity, you wait – and what usually happens ? – the urge dissipates and you continue driving – sometimes for a long time before the urge returns.
The amount of urine in your bladder has not decreased – you have simply taken a step to condition the sphincter to withstand greater pressure.
You can help an enuretic child achieve greater bladder control and increase his functional bladder capacity by setting up a series of exercises that duplicate your experience in the car.
Simply, at the first need to urinate – wait.
Have the child go for a walk, lie down, play on the computer, read him a story, anything that delays voiding. You might even turn it into a game (try waiting 5 minutes, 7 minutes, 10 minutes, etc.)
When it is not possible to wait any longer have him go to the bathroom, but have him start and stop the urine flow several times during the voiding. It is the sphincter that will control this flow and by starting and stopping, you will be encouraging sphincter control.
If you and the child are so inclined, you can increase the effectiveness by keeping records of the number of washroom visits in a day and the volume of urine produced at each voiding. It is easy and encouraging to see small improvements happening even before we begin to see dry beds. ( anyone interested in keeping records may e-mail me and I can send you blank forms that make this task even easier)

The goal is to have fewer visits to the washroom each day AND increase the average volume per voiding.

This procedure has speeded up the arrival of dry beds for many children.

Back to Top

Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

Learn more

+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

Learn more

+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

Learn more

+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

Learn more

+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

Learn more

See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

Archive


Parents' Comments

“He is a wealth of knowledge coupled with first hand experience.”

(E.K. – London)