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The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than suggest parenting changes. Jennifer Harris (psychiatrist)

Children fare better when expectations on them are clear and firm.

Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

Hurt people hurt people.

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

Good parenting requires sacrifice. Childhood lasts for only a few brief years , but it should be given priority while it is passing before your eyes

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

The more 2 parents differ in their approaches to discipline, the more likely it leads to trouble for the child.

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ADHD – A Frustrated Parent

The following is a quote from a parent that  is both very frustrated and at the same time very concerned about her son.

“I can’t take it anymore! We scream all morning to get out of the house. Homework takes hours. If I don’t help him with his work, he’s so disorganized that he’ll never get it done. If I do help him, he screams at me. Since he never finishes anything, everyone thinks he doesn’t care. No matter how much we beg, or punish, he keeps doing the same stupid things over and over again. He never considers the consequences of his actions, and he doesn’t seem to care if they hurt me. It’s so easy for him to get overwhelmed. He is so inflexible, and then blows up over anything. It gets me so angry that I scream back, which makes everything even worse. Now that he’s getting older, the lies and the cursing is getting worse, too. I know he has trouble paying attention, but why does he have all these other problems as well?”

Words that often describe the feeling that parents of children with ADHD / ADD have include:

  • frustrated
  • stressed out
  • frightened
  • angry
  • exhausted
  • discouraged
  • burned out
  • worried
  • overwhelmed
  • confused
  • inadequate
  • embarrassed
  • trapped
  • helpless
  • hopeless

These feelings are real and parents need to have a safe place to express them but they also need to understand that they must  discover a way to manage those feelings. The best way to do that is to figure out the best way to manage your child’s symptoms.

Behavioural Management Systems has been helping families figure out the best way to manage their children’s behaviour for over 40 years.

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“Our psychiatrist recommended Rick to help us sort out behaviour management issues for our autistic son. He was an invaluable help.”

(C.C. – Sarnia)