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Children do not develop on their own - they only develop within relationships.

The quickest way to change your child’s behaviour is to first change your own.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

"Cutting" is a visible sign to the world that you are hurting.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

Criticism is not a motivator.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

Simple rules adhered to when children are young can prevent more serious problems later.

Parenting style matters - a lot!

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What Does Depression in Young People Look Like?

The following is an excerpt from a book by Carol Fitzpatrick and John Sharry.

Case Study:
“Debbie, aged 13, has not been to school for 8 weeks. She got the flu 3 months ago and was out of school for a week. She was determined to get back as quickly as possible as she is a conscientious student who works very hard and who likes to be and expects to be at the top of her class. When she tried to go back she felt a sense of dread that is hard to describe. She gets this feeling whenever she is not at home, but it is most marked when she tries to go to school. She worries a great deal about missing school and falling behind her classmates. She has no special friend in her class but there were some girls she was quite friendly with who used to call to see how she was getting on when she was first sick, but they have stopped calling now. Debbie has little energy and sleeps more than usual. She would sleep longer but her mother wakes her each morning at her usual time for getting up for school in the hope that this will be the day she will go, but she does not. Debbie is irritable and angry most of the time but especially so in the mornings, and the atmosphere at home is very strained.
Debbie’s parents are at their wits end. They took Debbie to their general practitioner who gave her a thorough check-up but could find nothing wrong. Debbie’s older brother thinks she is “putting it on” and nags his parents to “get tough” with her. Her father wonders if perhaps this might be the right approach but holds back when he sees how unwell she looks at times. Her mother alternates between feeling sorry for Debbie and being very annoyed with her as she is demanding and ungrateful – most unlike the “old Debbie”. Debbie’s mother has herself suffered from depression in the past and wonders if this could be depression, but she feels overwhelmed by the situation and is unsure where to turn.”
 
 
Depression in children usually has some of the above features but they may not always appear in the classical way described in this case study. Young people are often unable to describe their feelings during episodes of depression or are reluctant to talk about how they are feeling and it is only when they have recovered that they can wrap their feelings into words.
 
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Sadness repairs.
Depression impairs.
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What is depression?
– a complex blend of emotional and physical symptoms and behaviours

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ Lick Your Kids

  “Lick Your Kids” (figuratively not literally) (2 hours) First […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ Taming a Toddler

Many parents wonder what hit them when their sweet little baby turns into an unreasonable toddler – ideas for dealing with mealtime, bedtime, temper tanturms, toilet training, noncompliance, etc.

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2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“We are foster parents who took in a 13 year old girl (going on 18!) and she ran us through the wringer. Rick helped us learn how to set limits that made the difference.”

(G.E. – Strathroy)