What is the Best Option for My Child?
The best option is the one that will work for your child. Each one of the approaches has strengths and weaknesses and each could be the “best” or the “worst” depending on specific circumstances. No one of the approaches will meet the needs of all children.
In my opinion, the best course of action for a concerned parent may be to combine several options. The child’s pediatrician should be involved looking for abnormal medical conditions and explaining medication options to the parent. The child may very well have ideas bouncing around in his head that a counsellor could help him sort out and there may be skill deficits that could be corrected with specific remediation.
No matter which combination of approaches you assemble,you will already be using the behavioural approach as you interact with him/her on a day to day basis. The question however is “Are my interactions helping or hindering my child?”
The noted psychologist, Abraham Maslow (Hierarchy of Needs) is quoted as saying “If you’re good with a hammer, everything you see tends to look like a nail”. This quote is relevant for our purpose of determining which approach is best suited for your child because as you talk with different experts, you will undoubtedly hear very different recommendations based on the experts particular specialty, experiences, biases, etc. (in other words “his hammer”)
This explains why you will get such diverse advice from different experts even when they talk about the SAME child:
– “you need to be firmer and more consistent”
– “you’re to strict – loosen up”
– “his behaviour is an expression of his emerging will and sense of self”
– “he has a central auditory processing problem and he needs speech and language therapy”
– “give him these pills”
– “it’s just a phase, he’ll grow out of it”
– “he’s just like his father”
No wonder we parents get confused. Even the experts don’t agree!