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Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

Removing a child from a traumatic environment does not remove the trauma from the child's memory.

"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

"Parents aren't the cause of ADHD, but they are part of the solution." (Kenny Handleman, M.D.)

The challenge of adolescence is to balance the right of the parents to feel they are in charge with the need of the adolescent to gain independence.

If you (parents) tend to overreact to your child's misbehaviour - your child learns that he can't trust you. Mom, Dad, stay regulated!

It is what we say and do when we're angry that creates the very model our children will follow when dealing with their own frustrations.

We should not medicate the boys so they fit the school; we should change the school to fit the boy. (Leonard Sax, M.D. Ph.D)

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

The mistake that Sharon and I both made is we never set any boundaries.  (Ozzy Osbourne)

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Temper Tantrums in a Restaurant

 

A child having a temper tantrum in a restaurant is an unpleasant experience not only for the parents but also the other customers. It is the parent’s responsibility to manage in such a way as to minimize the discomfort of the other guests but also teach you child more acceptable ways to handle frustrations.

1.Some children are simply not mature enough to handle some restaurants and it is an unrealistic  expectation  to even try.

2. In advance, tell your child the plan and explain your reasonable expectations for the restaurant meal.

3. Bring extra nibbles and distractions to keep your child busy and amused while he waits to be served.

4. If you have a child with a history of tantrums in restaurants and there is  more than the one child and two parents, arrange to take 2 cars. If the child is not cooperating and a tantrum follows, one parent simply takes  the child home while the other parent and children continue with their evening out. When child number two gets to stay at the restaurant with the other parent, the impact on the tantruming child is incredible effective.

Tips

1. At the very first sign of trouble, remove your child from the table and take him to a private area. Get down to his level and repeat your expectations, as well as what will happen if they are not met. Be calm and clear and use a few words as possible. “In this restaurant you may not cry or sceam loudly. It must stop right now. This is your only warning. If you continue you will be taken home.”

2. If it happens again, take him home.

3. Now hear comes the real teaching part. Next day  go out for breakfast or supper again but leave the tantrummer home with a sitter while the rest of the family goes out to the restaurant. Tell the child: “We are going out to the restaurant again but we are not taking you with us this time. Last night you were not able to follow the rules and we had to take you home. We’ll take you maybe  the next time but you must follow the rules or you will be brought back”.

4. Follow through – no caving in!

This strategy works mom and dad. It is a little inconvenient at first but positive results usually happen the first time.

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+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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