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"Rules without relationship leads to rebellion" (Josh McDowell)

Parents are the external regulator for kids who cannot regulate themselves.

When a child is disregulated - is the time parents need to be regulated.

If there is no relationship - nothing else matters !

Relationships matter:  change comes through forming trusting relationships. People, not programs change people.

Whining and crying are employed by kids for the purpose of getting something. If it works, then it was worth the effort and will be repeated.

Being a parent of a teenager can cure a person of narcissism.

Some hope their children will be like sponges soaking up the truth and wisdom imparted by their parents. However appealing this philosophy might be, it seldom seems to catch on with their children.

Don't wait for him to turn 10 before you reveal that you are not in fact the hired help whose job it is to clean up after him.

The teenage years require a delicate balance between the young person's need to gain independence, and the parent's need to retain authority.

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Challenges Parents of Some Teens Face

 

 

My previous  2 blog entries highlighted positive research finding by Canadian sociologist Reginald Bibby. Unfortunately not all teens fit his description. Below is a list of concerns that parents share with me:

  • disrespectful attitude
  • self absorbed
  • lazy & careless about responsibilities
  • negative attitude toward life and school
  • emotionally withdrawn & distant
  • picks friends who you disapprove
  • angry outbursts for little reason
  • lacks motivation for school
  • neglects chores
  • moody
  • mean to siblings
  • detaches from family events
  • lies and is deceptive about activities
  • physically aggressive
  • skips school
  • substance abuse
  • arguments re: internet, cell phones, etc.
  • sexual activity

If parenting was going to be easy – it wouldn’t have started with something called “labour”

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Workshops

+ Behaviour Management (now available online)

This full day or 2 evening workshop will introduce you […]

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+ A Parent’s Guide to the Teenage Brain

  A teenager’s brain is not just an adult brain […]

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+ Reading Rescue

A program for children with reading problems

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+ A Guided Tour of ADHD (now available online)

This workshop will present the facts, myths, misconceptions, controversy and […]

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See more of our workshops


Contact

2720 Rath Street, Putnam, Ontario
NOL 2BO

Phone: (519) 485-4678
Fax: (519) 485-0281

Email: info@rickharper.ca

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Parents' Comments

“I wish we had found Rick 2 years ago. We could have saved ourselves and our son a lot of trouble.”

(T.T. – Byron)